How did we get here?

I know too much about about, well, nothing. I was born in 1998 (which used to MEAN something), and I often find myself educating the masses (whatever poor soul is within shouting distance of me) on what matters the least. In college, when my Dad was begging me to take a science, math, or history class, I took the history of the Beatles. Believe it or not, that's not what he meant. But I can tell you a lot about the Beatles. More recently, I explained to my friends why Mormons who can't drink coffee are allowed to have energy drinks. I can tell you what unfolded at the fabled Desperate Housewives 2005 Vanity Fair shoot, and I can decode nearly any Gen Z phrase in seconds flat. My point is, whatever internet lore, classic rock beef, or mere blip in the timeline of life many may have forgotten, I remember. I take an interest in the stupid, the social media, and the messy. For this reason and this reason alone, you should want me on your team, but at the minimum, at your happy hour.

• A copywriter who knows her way around shoots.

• Some say music snob, I say good music connoisseur.

• Proud owner of a signed picture of all three original American Idol judges, Barack Obama, Trisha Paytas, and JWOWW of Jersey Shore fame.

• Average impressionist.

• Miniature cow enthusiast.